~Banjerese,about the true i am~
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"Harta ialah apa nang dimakan sampai kanyang,nang dipakai sampai lapuk,wan nang dibariyakan ka urg lain,Mahluk nang plg bungasnya ialah manusia,wan bagian awak urang nang plg mulia ialah hati (Imam al Ghazali)"..

adakah anda faham kenyataan diatas...aha.....

let me translate it for u....

"harta adalah ape yang di makan sehingga kenyang, yg dipakai sehingga lapuk dan yg diberi kepada org lain....mahluk yang paling cantik adalah manusia dan bahagian badan yg paling mulia adalah hati" (iman al-Ghazali)


erm..i guest my banjar language not really bad...hehe..
what is dat?...am i not a true malay?...




i am a malay, just my subrace is banjar..same like javanese. people might ask how come i can understand dat language...since my parents and i was born in Malaysia that use bahasa melayu as bahase kebangsaan while bahasa banjar is widely use in 3 of 4 provinces of Kalimantan: South Kalimantan, East Kalimantan, and Central Kalimantan, with the exception of West Kalimantan where Malay is more popular...(what a long explanation)..hehe....any of my family come from there??....ya...my grand grand grand mother....( i also dont know how many grand)...and why i still can understand this language....BCOZ....both of my parents are Banjerese....and they use this language as the formal language in home...
sooo..now u know why i can undersatand that language...when i was young, i didnt notice that the language that they use in home are slightly different from the language i learn in school...no wonder, why my friend always said that my malay language really like a bahasa melayu buku....same like Jenny, which my old roommate, who are chinese...once she speak malay, everything turn like in malay language book...all the grammar and literature are very book like...haha....nowadays...especially in Johor, we just a minority...most of the johorian are javanese, malays ( i mean the true malays) and bugis...and very rare to find banjar to banjar couple...even my sister also, her husband is Javanese..what so ever, person who come to my home later on...dont be surprise k....dont feel weird with the language....basically i can understand that language but to speak it, it a bit difficult...i proud of it, and let keep the tradition on...

i end this entry with a joke in banjar language

"ada urg mati,sdh sabulan diandak didalam kamar,jd jar urg2 knp kd dikuburakan?,anu manunggu anak sidin jar.. trus jar urg2: " umaaa ae"..,kada ba ulat juwa lah awaknya?,apa gerang amalannya?",jd jar sibini,sidin ngini amalannya,saban hari bajualan uyah haja,kadada amalannang lain pang,sakali diselidiki,haraw sampai ka awak2 hibak wan uyah,madaiae ulatnya kamasinan handak makan awak sidin."


yg bermaksud....
"ade org mati, sudah sebulan diletak di dalam bilik, jd org pun bertanye,kenape tidak di kebumikan?..nak menunggu anak arwah katenye....terus kate org ramai..."mak ai"...tak berulat ke badan arwah...ape la amalan semasa hidupnye?..jadi bini si mati pun ckp...arwah mcm ni amalannye, setiap hari menjual garam aje...takde pun amalan lain..apabile diselidiki, habis satu badan penuh dgn garam, patutlah ulat pun kemasinan nak makan badan arwah....hehehe...

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~EPES aka end posting exam syndrome~
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salam...
aha...hampir setahun tak mengusha blog aku yg pertame dulu..
"kuliah cinta illahi"..erm..that blog remain silent...and i spend most of time writing in this blog, a cup of lemon tea...tapi dlm hati, bkn niat nak biar blog tu camtu je tapi tak tahu nak letak pengisian ape di situ..so sebagai penyelesai masalah, aku malas la nak jd macm kerajaan turki yg pisah kan pentadbiran dan agame, so ape2 pengisian pasal agame yg aku tahu lepas ni pun akan di muatkan di blog aku yg 1 ni jugak...ok la kan..sambil berseronok, kite beramal sekali..mostly bukan hanye utk kebaikan pembace tp jugak kebaikan diri penulis ni jugak..ye la...aku just manusia biase, bkn malaikat atau sesape pun...(yg ni lari dr topic ye)

macam yg lain tahu jugak, currently aku in the end posting exam syndrome....aiyo, masih sempat lagi blogging nih....saje je, just wanna release some pressure in the brain..hehe...mane idaknye..aduyai, tgk manipal tu, sikit la punye tebal....poning kepale den ni ha...exam kite org will start on monday next week...Ya Allah, semoga dapat pt yg boleh beri kerjesame....jgn la mcm hari tu, bile tanye dgn makcik tu "makcik, kenape makcik msk hospital hari ni?" then that makcik jwp "ndak la aku tahu"erm...so what i wanna write in the chief complaint...then sebgi hadiah dari dr jerry, " ur question should guide the patients" ambik aku sebijik.yg boleh bt mase tu hanye senyum menampakkan baris2 gigi bak iklan COLGATE.hopefully that will never happen again..


what so ever, harap semua org mendoakan kejayaan kami...as usual, asal nak exam je, mintak maaf la dgn semua org..kalau ade aku terkasar bahase, tersilap laku ke..bcoz, just like what i say before, i just human...commit mistakes in almost every second..konsep taubat dan hidayah kan begitu dong...haha


tgk picture di atas...so sy mau sambung study....shh..sile diam ye...
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~the surgical posting~
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salam..
currently, i just near the end of my third rotation, surgical junior posting(SJP) in sandakan...
erm..not bad....just become more and more lazy..haha...really lazy to on call not like when i in medical junior posting (MJP) before....spend most of the time, fb and Zzzz...aish...not a good doctor to be la.....

suddenly, mau jdi surgeon plak after through out this posting...wakaka...dont know why la, just like the slogan of surgeon "think nothings, do everythings"haha..am not kinda person like to think i guest...haha..what so ever, but one thing i notice la, most of the surgeons are men...mane all the doktor pompuan g ek??....cam biase la, all girl2 things la, jd anesthesiologist, obstetric and gynecologist, paediatrician and etc...mostly doktor perempuan wont enter into ortho or surgical, from my observation la,bt this i not really sure since i was posting in duchess of kent hospital, sandakan...erm...more to district hospital la, but their doctors really impress me....huhu..really like old friend.... maybe bcoz we going to work in the same field....

today, might be our last day for this posting since next week gonna be our study week in which we are no longer allow to play around the ward, they want to keep the pts in ward for our exam...huhuhu..i gonna miss 7.30 am round with mr Jeremiah..a really good surgeon, tell everythings and kind to the patients...gonna miss his word "makcik, diorg ini semua pelajar perubatan, mau belajar sikit dari makcik", why leh??, ermm..fair enough, some more???"really a humble doctor, i wanna be like him if i become a surgeon later, insyaAllah, korang doa2kan la yerk...hehehe..

i gonna miss all the doctors in surgical ward..all the mo and ho...dr hairul, dr yushairi, dr supi, dr samara, dr yazir, and also last but not less the really well known dr for our posting, dr johari....for him, i have no comment, what past already past...that for mo and for ho, dr shihab, dr helmi, dr, samira, dr azarisham, dr jeffery, dr lee, dr ng, dr miza, dr bong, dr hafiz, dr hidayati, dr azuan, dr alsudin and all la...aish..really to many...also all the nurses and students nurse....all the patient also, really kind to let us examine them...even sometime they really in pain because of our touch, bt still i really learn from them...

surgical posting really teach me sometime that life not gonna always be ok...take the example of 35 year old uncle who present with the enlarge liver....erm...35 years old, cant u imagine, such like my sister age, he was diagnose with liver cancer...already metastasize to lung and other organ...he currently readmit due to pleural effusion, yesterday, i saw a tube from the lateral part of his chest...poor to him, really young age, bt already diagnose with cancer, the treatment for him, only the palliative...it such a death end...

another story was, a young lady.....i dont know the chief complaint...when i went to the ward for ward round on the everning, i saw her already intubated...erm..her family meet the specialist, ask about her condition...the dr said ( what i remember)" kami tak boleh bt ape lagi, dia sudah mati otak, kamu bt la keputusan, same ade mau bawe dia balik atau tunggu dia meninggal di sini" suddenly all the family members cried....i was surprised, but as dr to be, maybe i need to teach myself not to cry anymore..just swallow it, even it gonna hurt me....enough i guest, i already cried during my MJP posting..i still remember, how hard to us to face the death and also to accept the death..maybe as the doctor to be, we only hard to face the death of our patient, bt how about the family members that need to accept the death...

beside, surgical also teach me that life is about something miracle..i saw a coma state patient that experienced subdural haemorrhage...he slowly recover...he start respond to the order by doctor, he was also previously in the ICU..currently, start to walk and talk like what he was before..isnt it a miracle....SubanAllah....

in surgical also, i have experience in operation theater ( OT)..i have assist a 4 hours major surgery,...total removal of the gall bladder due to gall stone.....at the time i dissecting the bladder....walawei!!,,,, really big2 stone la...how come he can tahan for such big stones for almost 8 years...aduyai....thank to dr Ng for helping me alot in that ot....for waiting and teaching me how to scrabbing....and even, i have take over most the procedure that he should done...sorry dr....(=_+)

and also, i gonna marah la all that women outside there, if u notice something different on ur breast, please and please dont wait to go biopsy.... aish...i call my mum that night.."mak, kalau ade rase berbijik2 kat payudare tu cepat2 la pergi jumpe doctor, jgn nak gatal gi jumpe bomoh la, pak imam la and what so ever" haha..really a marah mode la that time....why??..because one whole day i keep thinking why a auntie that presented with large malignant ulcer on her breast and Shortness of breath (SOB) cant keep for such a long time..her children told us that she already notice that there is a lump on her breast for the last 3 years bt keep reluctant to seek the medical treatment....she keep going cari the traditional medication...aiyaa, that makcik, why u percaye all the traditional medicine ni....go dr 1st la...u tinggal zaman bile?..zaman batu pun tahu jumpe doctor ma....(sori auntie, i bukan mau kutuk u, just to give pengajaran for other also)...so women out there, kau tua ke , ko mude ke..one u notice ade something diferrent on ur breast please go to dr, one it diagnose a benign tumor, br korang boleh tarik nafas panjang2 k...

lastly....i gonna miss my hubby la..hahaha...sape??..ui..rahsia...ala yg muke cucu kesygan nenek tu la...sapo laie....haha...



ok dah habis merepek...cau dulu....mohon doanya ya bak....semoga 1 hari nanti dapat jd surgeon...and also a good dr dulu la.....
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[Full MV] FT Island - 사랑후애
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lagi dr ft island....
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missing you - ft island (Eng sub)
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just falling with this song....
jom dgr ramai jom....lallalallalalala



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~terdetik hati~
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salam....
huhu...yesterday i learn something again....
everyday is a learning process i guest...but how many it in and store in my mind...hahha..ermm..wondering....human learn most from the experience, even if it simple...am i right??...
how to story ya....
not very hevoc just the thing come across my mind...
i saw a mother teach her daughter how to pray....maybe people say it is common, bt not for me....
why?....
erm...when i saw her daughter pray, i was touch...at least this mother might already wrote her name in syurga...at least this mother have managed to teach her daughter how to pray and recite a doa....at least this mother have already teach her daughter about our creater, Allah...at least this mother have teach her daughter to who we should depend for...at least this small little child already know about something in Islam....
suddenly i scare...is one day, when i married and have a children i can be like this mother and also my mother who can teach my children with the islamic lesson...erm...such a huge responsibility isn't it....am i able to educate them without neglect them...ermm.....need a very deep though...
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~surgical posting going to reach the end~
Unknown
salam...
ohh..tidak.....just a few weeks left before exam posting tibe.....agh....mati la aku...report melambak tak tulis, nak exam g...man..i gonna cry la macam ni....last time pcatice short case with dr jerry, i really like blank....hah..ambik ko, terhegeh2 examine abdomen padahal medical posting dulu bleh plak....tu la aku ni sape la suruh rajin no wat muke ignoren je since masuk surgical ni...cet..bajet pandai la konon...ish...fara dont do it again k (nak naikkan semangat)..ish...hampeh la sgt performance aku dat day...why leh???..am i got blind ear and blind hand..dush...dush...couldn't appreciate what i heard and touch....aishh.....by the way, really to improve myself....Ya Allah permudahkan lah jalan utk hambaMu ni...Amin...
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~satu lagi menarik pembacaanku~
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Secebis Ingatan Buat Adam


Adam...
Maafkan aku jika coretan ini memanaskan hatimu.

Wahai Adamku...
Aku asalnya dari tulang rusukmu yang bengkok.

Jadi, tidak hairanlah jika perjalanan hidupku sentiasa inginkan bimbingan darimu tatkala aku sentiasa mahu terpesong dari landasan... kerana aku buruan syaitan.

Adam... Maha suci Allah yang mentakdirkan kaumku lebih ramai bilangannnya dari kaummu di akhir zaman, itulah sebenarnya ketelitian Allah dalam urusan-Nya.

Jika bilangan kaummu mengatasi kaumku nescaya merahlah dunia kerana darah manusia, kacau bilaulah suasana kerana Adam sama Adam bermusuhan kerana Hawa.

Buktinya cukup nyata dari peristiwa Habil dan Qabil sehinggalah pada zaman cucu-cicitnya.

Pun jika begitu maka tidak selaraslah undang-undang Allah yang mengharuskan Adam beristeri lebih dari satu tapi tidak lebih dari empat pada satu waktu.

Adam...
Bukan kerana ramainya isterimu yang membimbangkan aku. Bukan kerana sedikitnya bilanganmu yang merunsingkan aku.

Tetapi... aku risau, gundah gulana menyaksikan tingkahmu.

Aku sejak dulu lagi sudah tahu bahawa aku mesti tunduk ketika menjadi isterimu. Namun... terasa berat pula untukku menyatakan isi perkara.

Adam...
Aku tahu bahawa dalam Al-Quran ada ayat yang menyatakan kaum lelaki adalah menguasai terhadap kaum wanita.

Kau diberi amanah untuk mendidik aku.

Kau diberi tanggungjawab untuk menjaga aku, memerhati dan mengawasi aku agar sentiasa di dalam redha Tuhanku dan Tuhanmu.

Tapi Adam, nyata dan rata-rata apa yang sudah terjadi pada kaumku kini.

Kami dibiarkan terumbang-ambing tanpa haluan, malahan engkau juga mengambil kesempatan atas kelemahanku.

Dimana perginya keadilanmu?

Asalnya Allah menghendaki aku tinggal tetap di rumah. Aku akur asalkan aku keluar dari rumah, seluruh tubuhku mesti ditutup dari hujung kaki sampai hujung rambut... tetapi realitinya kini, Hawa telah lebih dari sepatutnya.

Adam..
Mengapa kau biarkan aku begini? Apakah kau sekarang tidak lagi seperti dulu?

Apakah sudah hilang kasih sucimu terhadapku?Adakah akhlak kaum Adam boleh dijadikan contoh terhadap kaum Hawa?

Adam...
Kau sebenarnya Imam dan aku adalah makmummu. Aku adalah pengikutmu kerana kau adalah ketuaku.

Jika kau benar, maka benarlah aku. Jika kau lalai, lalailah aku.

Kau punya kelebihan akal manakala aku kelebihan nafsu. Akalmu sembilan, nafsumu satu.

Aku? Akalku satu, nafsuku sembilan.

Oleh itu Adam...pimpinlah, bimbinglah aku kerana aku sering lupa, lalai dan alpa sehingga aku tergelincir ditolak sorong oleh nafsu dan kuncu-kuncunya.

Bimbinglah daku untuk menyelami kalimah Allah. Perdengarkanlah daku kalimah syahdu dari Tuhanmu agar menerangi hidupku. Tiuplah ruh jihad ke dalam dadaku agar aku menjadi mujahidah kekasih Allah.

Adam...
Andainya kau masih lalai dan alpa dengan karenahmu sendiri, masih segan mengikut langkah para sahabat, masih gentar mencegar munkar, maka kita tunggu dan lihatlah, dunia ini akan hancur bila kaumku yang akan memerintah.

Malulah engkau Adam, malulah engkau pada dirimu sendiri dan pada Tuhanmu yang Agung.

Maafkan aku sekali lagi Adam...

Andainya warkah yang ku layangkan ini menimbulkan amarah di dadamu.

Jauh sekali niatku untuk membuat kau keliru apatah lagi menjadi buntu.

Waspadalah Adam...
Andai auratku terdedah...andai suaraku mengatasimu... andai langkah seiringmu... andai maruahku dirobek maka engkaulah yang bakal membawaku kepada kebenaran.

Usah dipersalahkan Hawa lantaran tewas mengemudi bahtera andai si Adam masih lena diulit mimpi...

Tetapi percayalah!!! Bukan emas yang kucari... bukan berlian yang kupinta... tetapi, hanyalah hati yang tulus ikhlas darimu...

Adam...
Dengarlah...keluhan hatiku buat dirimu..

coretan langsung dari mohd najib bin shahabudin, fb
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